I always - kinda- complain about how it was easy for me to 'fall in' and equally easy 'fall out' of it. Always tought of it as a 'burden' as I'm unable to stay focus on one guy for a long period of time. But recently, I couldn't wait to fall-out of with the latest guy I'm having an attraction with. I'm 99.99% sure that he's not available for me. It's hard to explain how I feel towards him but while I was waiting my car's turn at a car-wash shop, I wrote down what I likes about him. After I finish one whole page of my notebook, I realize that I had let the toughts of him to occupy my mind, time and energy and it just not worth it.
The one thing I realize about me is that I have the tendency to make things complicated especially when it comes to men. Why do I always fall for those that I cannot have? I feel like crying sometimes. Back from the office earlier today I took a tour around town instead of the usual route I always use when going home. Part of me just wants to drive around as I listen to sentimental songs, it helps me to sing along the love-hate-pain type of song. To be honest, part of the reason why I took the long route was because I was hoping that I came across him on the road. How pathetic can I be? Knowing that I cannot be with him but still hoping for...something.
Peace & Save da World & Personally needing HELP; xoxo
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