Uncertainty

I don’t know of what to think. I try to understand what my true feelings are but failed. Few weeks ago I thought that I give up on trying finding a partner and yet few days ago I was speculating on my chances on a particular guy. Yesterday I revealed to a friend that I feel like a failure. I have no personal life, no career prospect and it seems that I’m losing faith. A dangerous thing it is about faith, I don’t want to mess up the general order of life by tempting faith but it seems that I’m unable to shake the feeling out of me. Maybe my hormones are running amok because it’s almost time for that particular period in each month. Today I feel lousy. I’m tired, not physically, mentally. When would it be I’m going to see that silver lining that everyone’s talking about? At this moment I feel so lost already in this cloud of darkness of uncertainty. The bottom line is that ‘I am scared’. My future seems so vague and gloom and I don’t know what to do except wait.