Penyakit Lama

In a heartbeat I saw his face today. It was clear - VERY clear. At a second look it was one of the office guy, does not even come close to a resemblance. I blame it on our brief chatting last friday night. I don't know what else to say about this.

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

My First Day

Sigh...I have no comment about it.


Peace & Save da World; xoxo

3 days; Gaji, Meeting, Pengait

02/12/2008 – 1110 (Tuesday)

I am bored, bukan plang nada keraja tapi malas ku kan buat msani. Ani bru 1112, lum ku breakfast and lama lgi kn lunch. Hmm….krg lunch ku sma spa ah? Yday dah ku nda lunch sal nada dgn ku. Msani lg karing sal gaji ku lum kuar. Today is 2nd November 2008, kuar kah nda hal ani ah. Tdi msa meeting sma big boz, ada hod dri finance jua. Ada dmentionnya sal ia nda tau dmna org bru ( maksudnya aku) kna posted wlaupun kna mention ku mlapor rah admin section. Iath klinya gaji ku lum kuar atu, lum during sain or prepare kli. Bah mun nda tau kna taruh dmna, dpt jua jua durang solve da problem with one phone call sja tu…direct tnya rah big boz or secretary nya. Ani nda, mesti kah aku lg turun kbwah n introduce myself? Cheh…pyah tu eh mun mcm atu. Bsar kli ah tmpat ani mun ku mesti introduce myself to every1, apa case plang dgn org atas2 atu, mesti th ku bknalan sma vvip atu jua? Logic nda kurapak ku ani? mental…mental… (stress bah sal lum kuar gaji, karing kli ah)

03/12/2008 – 0745 (Wednesday)

Yesterday ptg ada event rah dewan dbwah, ceramah mengenai ibadat qurban sempena hari raya aidiladha yg nda lg btah ani. Ia start around 1445 smpai 1615. Inda byk siap kraja ku kmarin a2. Ani krg kna bwa HOD meeting sma big bosses. Jadi tukang catit plang sja, bukan ikut discuss sma during eh. According to org lama meetingnya ani kdg smpai kul 1, almost 2pm lah baru slasai and NO BREAK in between. Fuyoo…byk susah ini mcm. Hmm, ingau jua ku apa kn dbuat krg ani. But I’m more concern about my tummy, tkut ku ia growling in the midst of meeting krg…lol. Iatah ku awal tdi jln dri rumah around 7am sal kn singgah rah burung pingai brkas mbli sdikit mknan. Now I’m typing this while eating popia and begedil. Mcm alum jua ku knyng tpi nda lg mau masuk mknan ani. Kn mkn ubat lg ni. Hmm….mkn pagi ani kh krg ptg ah? Dmlm aku mkn arnd 2000s prsan ku. Kira brapa jam dah tu?...11 hours, boleh lah tu. Baik jua mkn awal ani dri lupa krg. Mkn begedil lg sbiji sblum mkn ubat eh :P

04/12/2008 – 0754 (Thursday)

Lapar eh, yday awal ku mkn breakfast. Hmm…sapa krg dgn ku kbwah ah mbli mknan? I’m going to start dieting today. Pressure ku sal org cni ani mcm fitness freak fanatic enthusiast. Hence, I’m going to skip lunch, maybe mkn buah or sandwich sja...uwahahaha…da tots depressed me…kekeke. Bos ada dah sbalah dlm bliknya but ku msih lg buat kraja nda berfaedah ani. Mcm nada mood ku wah kn kraja. Durang big boz ada trip ni, tpi my boz nda ikut, cheh..spoil eh.
Yesterday, I got another vaccination shot lg, bek jua sbalah tgn sja, msih lg trsa skitnya smpai ani. That’s mean one more shot left for the vaccination. But need to draw blood two more times, one for the vaccination result and the other for my condition. Did I mention kah that my fitness test result the last time ada problem ckit. Pass plang ku overall, no fatal illness anytime soon. But something’s wrong with my blood. The blood level ok, blood-pressure ok but the hemoglobin size was small and the quantity low. Well, that’s what the doctor said at the time, she also mentioned that there is a possibility of me having a mild thelasmia. So need to do another blood-test. I remember that one of my friends has this condition that she had to have drips in order to get well. I had this result in early November.

I had an appointment last Saturday to get the result of my latest blood-test. It turns out that I’m not thalasmic after all just a problem with my iron carrier – I think..!?! Let’s just say that I have Iron-Deficiency. The doctor then prescribed me with 3 different medicines to tackle the problem. She’s going to review my condition again after 3 months so I have to get another blood-test for it. That’s mean I have 2 more blood-test and 2 more medical appointment and 1 more vaccination shot.
Ish, mcm panjang sja skli ani my blog, pukul 0818 dah, better start my day with REAL work 

04/12/2008 – 0959 (Thursday)

Just finish having breakfast with some of my colleagues. Macam-macm cerita kluar tadi and one of them is about Pengait. I never really give it much thought before. But this morning I found out that this pengait is actually a human not a ghost / spiritual entity. Imagine my surprise to hear this version of Pengait. According to the story-teller, Pengait actually a human that are being given a double-0 license i.e license to kill (like 007) According to the teller, the reason that this person hunt for a head is that according to the myth, a head (especially of a child) can make a high-story building to be stronger (applicable to a more than 10 stories building) According to this person also, in the past (way before I was born) the hunting was actually allowed by the authority. There are two people who became the Pengait, omputeh & i-ban. Seriously, at this point I was too shell-shocked that all I did was stare at that person with my mouth hanging open.

However, that was not the most shocking part. Here is the kicker – Pengait still exist in today’s time. I was like…WHAT?!?! Yes, she said again trying to convince me. According to her, nowadays Pengait was let ‘loose’ intentionally so they can hunt for heads. But they will eventually be captured again in the end. I don’t know how to respond to her, all I’m able to do was shake my head. To think that people believe in this kind of myth. Seriously, from now on every time I looked at a high-rise structure I will be thinking of this. Personally, I still think that all these stories were told to frightened kids or even youngsters. But for a grown-up to believe in this kind of thing is quite disconcerting. I guess it really up to the individual to distinguish what is real or not or should I say what is right or wrong - incase its true???

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Empowerment

A friend sent me via sms a website address. At first I didn't pay it much attention. But as I sat in front of the laptop browsing around the internet pages, I decide to give it a try. From the title of the web address, it's not what I thought it would be. At my current situation it surely applicable and hence I'm going to post a few extracts on a particular article that strikes me the most.

"So life is going great. You’re doing the flirting, meeting the people, and enjoying your dates. Then SMACK! …..You find a guy that you’re crazy about and your world comes crashing down, but in a kind of good way. You can’t stop thinking about him and the fairytale romance you see in the movies might just be a possibility…

Yep you’re in lust. Some people call it love. I call it – rose tinted wonderland or being on drugs…. Whatever floats your boat …

Now let me explain the problem here. Being in this state of lust can cause a little delusion, insanity and insomnia. Being in this state of lust usually stops us from seeing what is really going on.

We are too busy daydreaming about how fantastic a relationship with this person will be, that we cant even see that this guy doesn’t know what he wants to eat for lunch, let alone think about anything in regards to a relationship.

But don’t worry; there is hope. Because right now I’m going to give you some tips and hints so that you’ll be equipped with ammunition for when its time to shoot down any potential ideas about this guy and ditch him.

So what constitutes ditching material?

He doesn’t make the effort to contact you regularly. Now if your ideal relationship involves a guy who is only willing to put 10% effort into it, then by all means go for it. But if you are looking for someone that will give you a little more than just the time of day then I would suggest that you reconsider.

Now you just might think that this is a little harsh to ditch someone for but the deceptive thing about this problem is that we don’t make a big deal out of it. We tend to make excuses for the guy, that he is busy, that something big has come up, that he doesn’t have 20 cents to make a simple PHONE CALL TO YOU.There are a number of reason why he isn’t contacting you. The first one, is simply he isn’t interested in talking to you all the time. It’s only when he is in the mood.

Secondly he is acting up so that you don’t get your hopes up too high. He doesn’t want to be on his best behavior because then he figures you will end up liking him too much ( the ironic thing is that this actually works in his favour).

Thirdly he doesn’t want to have frequent conversations with you because he is afraid you are going to bring up the “where is the relationship going” conversation, and quite frankly, it would be less painful to jump off a bridge into shark infested waters!

So here it is girls. Don’t excuse someone’s bad behavior! I have found that if a guy isn’t contacting you regularly and consistently, that he just isn’t that INTO you. I know it sucks and it’s hard to hear but your time is better spent on someone else, more deserving of your love and attention."

Taken from www.baggagereclaim.co.uk

Enough said, no need to mention what all this about. I hope I can stop dreaming and wake-up and face reality.

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Another round of whining

Fates...can be 'cruel' sometimes. My final day is today. As mentioned in previous blogs, haven't seen him in a while. However, around 315pm today got called over to the other building (where his office is) by the second boss. Turns out they prepared small feast on my behalf. We ate, laugh and the conversation flows. Only after 15 minutes or so had past did he appear into the pantry. And one of our colleagues points out that our clothes are matching today. My shirt and his are almost in the same shade, purplish pink. While his tie and my tudung are in the same dark purple shade.

It hurts thinking that of all days, it had to be today where our 'personality' become in-sync. He did not even give a proper farewell to me. Just left after the little celebration. I understand that he's a busy man, have to meet clients and all that. But can't he at least say goodbye and wish me luck?...

I know that I promised myself to move-on. But it hurts. It hurts to think of what might have been. I wish that he would just say something. Just an indication whether he likes me or not instead of playing this hide and seek game.

Peave & Save da World; xoxo

Spoiler

He ruined my chances with other guys. At least for now. Opportunities came knocking today and though I didn't reject it but I know that at the back of my mind it wont work. As I confided with a friend about my dilemma, she told me that maybe he's not the type of a guy that goes for a short fling as he knows that I'm leaving soon. Though I know the probability of this statement being true is very slim, still I let it to disillusion me into believing it. Because it helps. It helps me to feel better. It helps me not to hate him. Helps me to forgive him and myself as well. And above all, helps me to move on.

Peace & save da World & Time Lessened da Pain; xoxo

Reality Check

Thanks for that dash of cold water. Since last Friday, we have no contact at all after all the flirting we build-up ever since last month. And it all boils down to nothing. When finally we talked (on the phone) it was all business. No 'warmth' in his voice. Don't get me wrong, he was nice and polite with few jokes here and there but the whole conversation left me shuddering as if ice cold water being trickled down my back. Can't help from feeling blues after that. But I guess I had seen it coming all along. Me and you, not going to happen. Its my final week, deep down I was hoping you would do something. But after what hapen this afternoon, I feel that you already saying goodbye to me.

Peace & Save da World...xoxo

Changes

Hmm....not in the mood to blog this time. Earlier when I woke up, got all sorts of issue I want to talk about. But now after my breakfast, I can't think of anything at all...lol

15 minutes pass, I'm still staring at this window, alternating it with my Facebook. I'm going to give 15 minutes more, if still got nothing I'm just going to post what ever I got here.

Went to a friend house last night and just hang. It's been a while since the last time I hang out with the group. Few things change and yet some things didnt change. Hard for me to explain, better I just keep it to myself to avoid from hurting anyone's feeling.

But eventhough I'm surrounded by all those guys, at the back of my mind I keep thinking of him. I know that I need to close that particular chapter in my life. I can see now that there is no future in that direction. All I need is to build a wall to help me resist him.


Peace & Save da World & ... xoxo

Skip a Hertbeat

Have you guys ever heard the song Heartbeat by Scouting For Girls? From one of the line

"...everytime that we meet, I skipped a heartbeat..."

That is how I seem to feel a few moments ago. My MSN is on as I'm chatting with my friends. As I was busy with my FB, I ignored most of the blinking light at the bottom bar. But at one glance I saw that the blinking part has his (the guy I was talking about below) MSN nick on it and I have this weird sensation in my chest. It is as if someone giving me a suprise by standing behind the door. My mood immediately lifted and I clicked on the blinking bar as fast as I can. He typed only one line of Q. I answered in two lines. But as I eagerly awaited for his reply, I realized that he already appeared offline. Still I waited, hoping that he would reply.

But that was almost 30 mnts ago. And here I am sitting in front of the laptop, waiting for him. My mood is slowly going down. Everytime there is an orange blink at the bottom, my heart wish that it was him but its NOT him. I think I better quit for tonight. "Waiting can be painful."

Peace & Save da World & Hoping 4 inner Peace; xoxo

Hoping for a better tomorrow

About the story below, I will continue it next time. First I want to let out this frustration that I have inside my chest. I LIKE A GUY FROM WORK. He 'seems' to like me also but since last Friday, there were very little contact between me and him. Yesterday, I was a bit upset as I was in a little bit of 'pain'. Told him about it and expecting empathy but got nothing, he just made joke about it. Cheh...MEN, either they're really clueless or just very good pretender. Today, I didn't see him at all. He even did not on his msn (or maybe he appeared offline) I'm really frustrated. I mean, seriously, I'm missing him at this very moment and what he do? He DISAPPEAR!!!!! I hate men at this moment. Wait...I don't hate men, I HATE him! ( I feel like crying...sob,sob-sniff,sniff)

Owh by the way, the Presidential Election will commence around 11pm (local time) All the best to all of us, may the 'right' candidate win.

Peace & Save da World & Hope 2moro wiLL Be a beTTer DaY; xoxo

Unexpected

I received something today. I didn't know about it until around 445pm. Anyway, i found out about it through my brother, he text as I was driving after i picked up my sister from MD. He asked if he can 'open' the item. I reply what for as it does not belong to you (something along those line). Me and my sister didn't went straight home, we made a detour to Katok area to check the new school that being rumoured as the new school for 'some' of the form six students currently at MD. After we check-out that area, i slowly (not really) drive home.

All the way to my house, i was having dreadful feeling. I keep saying to myself, 'its ok - its ok, nothing to be worried about. What's meant to be are meant to be, just accept it'. Once i got home, i immediately......(skip skip skip skip) Will continue this story next time.

Peace & Save da World & Never giVe-uP on your dReam; xoxo

Political Satire

I wrote this blog earlier this morning but forgot to post it.

"...The Presidential race of a very well-known country in the globe are getting more and more entertaining. It is like watching a Hollywood movie. One issue after another are emerging 3 weeks before the election day starts. It really is entertaining to read, heard and watch the 'political arena' being covered by the media. The 'support' from the entertainment crew itself had also help to lightened up the tone of otherwise a very serious situation. After all it is the future of millions or so people are at stacked for the next four years within the country it self (the rest of us in the world surely will be affected as well depending especially on its foreign policy)..."

Peace & Save the World & Hope for Better Future; xoxo

Start Noticing

I typed this blog last 2 weeks, couldn't remember the date though maybe around the first week of Hari Raya...

"Reluctant I am to touch on the issue yet the situation persistently keep nagging me. The state of affairs seems to have no OR less impact upon our nation’s society or maybe the circle I am in just not into the economic issue. Recently, dubbed as a ‘giant’ corporation in one of the developed country in the western region had collapsed and that country is scrambling an effort to save the whole state of affairs by giving a ‘hand’ into the matters. The situation is still pending till now.

When the first time this news erupted, it has snared my interest and got me into thinking that PERHAPS it might leads us into another economic chaos as happened in the late 1990’s (God forbid). People around the world especially developed and ‘active’ developing countries will be affected by this. And no doubt, we might feel the heat as well.

I remembered a week into the issue, one of the local newspaper had published a story regarding one of the sub-company of this ‘giant’ corporation where it stated that the locals that has ‘interest’ in the company assets were not as worried as those in our neighboring country (a day before the newspaper showed a picture where people flocking outside the same company in another country trying to get reassurance) It makes me wondered, are we really that ‘sure’ of the guarantee given to us by this foreign company or are we simply ignorant of our surrounding.

Then there’s another health threat issue that also can lead to a thriving nation’s economy come into a sudden halt IF it gets worse than it already is, the price of ‘oil’ that becomes as unstable as the global stock market and now, another financial corporation in europe is facing the same dilemma as the ‘giant’ corporation. How will all these going to affect the global market? Should we (the nation) ignore this? I THINK that the nation should start addressing this issue slowly, as not to start panic, but surely by advising the population to be more careful of their financial affairs. Give the population a nudge to make them see what is happening. Just because it does not happen here doesn’t mean we won’t get the brunt of it.

Then again maybe I should not delve further into this issue as I am NO expert about it. But seriously, it piqued me to notice that no one else seems to notice..."

Peace & Save da World & da Economy; xoxo

Lack-luster

They're not giving what I need to keep me satisfied. The incentive margin is too narrow, not what I was hoping for. How can I stay for something that is not providing the right motivation? Now I'm hoping to fly away from here. Wish me all the best for other opportunities. Hopefully something else is waiting for me right around the corner - something better, AMIN!


Peace & Save da World - Disenchanted; xoxo

New 'Toy'

I got a new 'toy' today...hehe. Actually, i was just thinking of buying it maybe by the end of this month (waiting for this month salary) However, things ain't always goes according to plan. When i got home from work today I learned that my younger brother bought a new handphone. I was like...'WHAT??!!!!' My phone is 'older' than his kli ah.. So we went out and sungkai luar trus because we're taking my younger sister looking for school shoe. Yup people, you read it right, school shoe, NOT raya shoe. Cali kn adi ku sorang ani, org cbuk2 mbli brg rya, ia mbli brg skulah.

Anyway, we went to Yayasan shopping complex and break our fast at CAM. But no luck with finding the right shoe. So i decide to take them (my younger bro & sis & my mom) to Hua Ho Manggis. There I ran into my friend, F. She was there looking for 'new toy' also and guess what, she bought it on the spot. Apalagi, my green-eyed monster reared its head. My bro got new hp, my freind got new toy. So i said to myself, "what the heck, just go for it. Now or never..."

So here I am, sitting at home in-front of this laptop, still wearing my new toy...hehehe. I am very much attached to it because the first time I lay my eyes on it last month, i fell in love. At this very moment, i have no regret.

Peace & Save da World, & Wordly possesion though temporary but still satisfying...hehehe; xoxo

Life Journey (so far...)

So many things happened this week and yet so little things I can say because of the censored things...(SIGH) In life, we will learn different things and it will become a life experienced. We encountered different type of people and somehow learn their strength and weaknesses, their good side and their not so good side. We go through life that has many level.

Remember our childhood? Seems so innocence and fun. The only worry we had was when we can skip from doing homework and watched cartoon instead. Then we reached that secondary level at school and worries about being popular or outcast. We reached a tertiary level and we worries about our grades and the future. Then the working-life. Oh boy, isn't it different from our school life.

I embark on this journey with a 'fresh/innocent' view. Hoping that I will make a different somehow, not only to myself but the organization as well.

• First stumbling block, socializing part. I learned my lesson and move-on.

• Second road-block, trust issue. Your 'friends' at work place are not the same as your friends from school. Lesson learned!

• Third and most recent test in life, the politics at work. I realized that some people will do anything to get what they want even though they have to used the innocent by-standers. Somehow they have a different values in life and care not of what other people's norms and value and feelings. They just assumed that people wants the same things that they want.
  

Note to self: Careful. Don't be the victim in the food-chain and yet don't victimized others.

Peace & Save da World & Worldly Possession are only Temporary; xoxo

Locked-Out

It happened again. I got lock-out of my room. At first I thought that I left my key at the office but luckily I didn't went back to my office to find it. Me being locked-out has happened before sometime last year. Ever since that, there is an existing 'Secret Passage' to my room that requires me to "push hard, climb-up, slip-in, jump-down, bend-low and only then can gain access to my room" (hahaha...it sounds complicated but its not).

So knowing this 'difficult route' I have to endure in order to get into my room, I changed from my work-clothes into my super-hero outfit ( in reality: T-shirt and shorts) and with only a torchlight as my weapon, I started the whole adventure. It takes me the whole 5 long-minutes to finish the whole thing and in the end I triumphed (Yaay.. me!) Guess what?.. I left my key inside my bedroom not in my office. Hehehe...bek jua nda ku bebalik k ofis, mun nda riuh org sna mliat aku kraja overtym.

Peace & Save da World & DONT forget ur Key; xoxo

What were we thinking...?!

Finally, the internet problem at home is solve. It turns out the laptop wireless adapter card ada problem. Sikit lagi manggil orang telbru krumah. HAHAHA....da silly part, we didn't thought of testing the connection by using other laptop.

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Randomness

I want baby.
I want a new hand-phone.
I want to eat nasi katok Abid - now.
I want to lose some weight especially around the waist.
I want a job, a real one that pays well.
I want a boipren.
I want a husband.
I want a life.
I want...satisfaction.

Basically, I want something that can makes me happy right now. But I don't know what exactly that I NEED. I'm ranting here. I don't know what I'm doing. All the lists above, don't know what it means. It just what I'm currently feeling...


Peace & Save da World and Avoid da Insanity; xoxo

Maternal Instinct

I don't know what get into me today but I've been experiencing 'maternal instinct'. In one of the 'episodes'; someone from the office mbwa anak nya tdi around lunch time because she's taking him to school afterwards. As they were climbing (is it the right adverb?) down the stairs, the mother let her son do it on his own. He was about 4-6 years old, I guess he's in private school.

Anyway, I was right behind him as he slowly tackles each step down the stair-well. One hand holding on to the railing and the other was holding out in to the air, maybe used to having his parents holding on to that hand. I was right behind the boy and his mother already reach the landing. At that moment, as he slowly plant each foot on each step, I couldn't help it from feeling 'maternal'. As I saw his other hand suspended in the air, it takes every last ounce of will-power to stop myself from holding on to that hand and assist him down the stair.

But I said to myself, he's a big boy now and his mother certainly not worry about him stumbling down. Maybe he is at the right age to learn to be independent. As I was busy with my own inner-dialogue, we (both me & the boy) reach the final step. And he jump from that final step onto the floor, as if he was celebrating his triumph in conquering the metal & stone 'mountain'. I can't help but smile. To find such pleasure in a simple act, only an innocent and care-free soul can still achieved that nowadays.


Peace & Save da World & Our own Inner child; xoxo

3 'events'

Hmm...went to work, finish most of the pressing matters, went home, then pick up my sister at her school, then eat at Ideal Gadong Properties, withdraw money, went to pick up my brother at home and straight to a tire shop, tire get fixed (punctured by nail), went home.

Now, I'm sitting in the living room facing the laptop. I just opened three mails i received today. Two for interviews and one for written test for the next two weeks. *Sigh... I'm grateful for the chances, although I'm a bit skeptical that I'm going to end up with one of them. But then again, nothing is impossible and everything is possible.

I hope I'm going to get at least one job offer after these interviews, AMIN! Susah jua ati ku mikirkan. Another thing that worries me is that what excuse am I going to use to get out of the office?... I'm still under probation term with my current job hence if I apply for a leave it will be unpaid leave...rugi meh.

I hope I can think of something by next week. In the mean time, it's time to do some research. Wish me luck peeps...


Peace & Save da World as well as the 'unemployed'; xoxo

Treasure Hunt

I'm not referring to the NBT treasure hunt here, but a hunt for a ripe MR. Thorn. Believe it or not I went to more than 10 shops yesterday looking for it. The hunt kick start at Supa Save Beribi but only two pieces of Mr Thorn available and both not in a 'well' condition.

Then I decided to stop by HH TB on the way back home, but none were ripe. So I drive to HH Sengkurong and same fate meets me there. Since SKH was nearby I give it a visit. NO Mr Thorn was in sight. So I asked my younger sister (who was unfortunate enough to get roped into the hunt but I reward her with a chocolate crepes and Koko Berry drink) to call my other sister where we can get Mr Thorn. Hence, our hunt leads to Kiulap area. First stop was HH follow by the Mall then Hotmart. Still no luck.

By this time i was beaten but not broken. My next attempt is HH yayasan. Again the result was the same. No RIPE Mr Thorn. Our next stop was Supa Save Mabohai. Guess what, NO RIPE MR THORN either!!

By this time my patient already runs thin. But I said to myself, what the heck, jauh2 sudah drive trus tah ke delima. I went HH Manggis, of course same result as well. Since I'm in that area, I give a visit to HH Delima and Teguh Raya. But no luck either. On the way back home I stopped at Soon Lee Batu Bersurat. And then we swing by HH Gadong.

As usual I stayed in the car as my sister dash inside. This time I receive a different news as she enter the car. There are 3 Mr Thorn inside. 2 were still a bit raw and 1 of them seems ripe enough. I quickly find a parking spot and try not to run going inside. However, my flaming hope were doused with cold water. As I inspect Mr Thorn, it turns out not all the 'golden flesh' were tender enough. I was disappointed.

My sister told me that "At least it is 'sort-of' ripe already"
So I said to my sister, "If I buy it now, sure it will fulfilled me but it wont satisfied me"

There are things in life that you cannot rush. Even though you try very hard finding it and crave for it so much, sometimes you just have to wait for a bit longer.



Peace & Save the world so we can enjoy their fruits; xoxo

Not so great day

Tough time at work-place tdi, some issues that's ... *sigh (don't feel like talking about it) On top of the issue, i have to do other administrative work that requires lots of attention/effort/time. Urghh...iath rsanya bkraja ni, responsibility that you can't escape and have to swallow no matter what.

I try not to bring the problem back home, once i walked-out of the office-building, I pushed it out of my head. Instead I focused on my 'craving' for Mr. Thorn...again, hehe. Blamed it on Teddy Kuma, she text me yesterday just to inform me that the price of Mr Thorn is $3.50/kg. I have to resist the temptation to go to H-H TB on my way back home today. I'm not feeling 100% well, so Mr Thorn is a definite no-no. Maybe by the end of this week kli bru ku mbli, hope I can hold on till that time...but no promises.


Peace & Save the World, n let there be kindness & understanding in it; xoxo

Celebration...

Its 1108pm already and my eyes getting tired, after this blog I'm going straight to bed. Urghh....tomorrow is Monday, another cycle started, going to work until Saturday. Its been a tiring today, we had an early birthday celebration for my niece, a collaboration from my part as well, i promised a bbq for my birthday last may. We rented a bouncer as well and guess what; I'm NOT too old to jump join in. We used up the whole bottle of my sister shampoo to make the water slide more slippery... I had a blast!

My eyes getting sleepy, i think it's time for me to quit this blog for tonight...*yawn. Good-night peeps.


Peace & save da World, as well as the laughters; xoxo

Baby Boy

I found out today that my friend gave birth last Sunday - 15th June to a healthy baby boy. Congrats to them. Wow, this is their second child, another baby boy actually. Having a family of their own, i wonder what it feels like. I hope this new member will bring more happiness in their life and moga di luas kn lg rzeki mreka, amin!


Peace & Save da world for our future generation; xoxo

Cat Murderer

OMG!!!!

To all cat-lover, I am really, really, REALLY sorry! I hit a cat today on the way home. There is no word that i can use to express my remorse about the whole incident. I'm still feeling guilty at this moment. Again, I'm, so sorry.

Peace & Save the Cats; xoxo

Sunday Morning

Its almost 11 am, bru ku bngun half an hour ago. Sigh, udah kraja ani u dun hav much chances to over-sleep. I don't have plan for today except to do my laundry, mudahan tah nda ujan. Owh, ku tesliur ambuyat, gnya nada dgn ku kn mkn rah A.A, my mom jmputan krg rah org btahlil. Cana ah, sapa dpt ku tarik ah...??

Suk start cuti skulah, ertinya dpt ku akhir bngun sal no need to drive my sister to school.
.........
I guess i don't have much to say for now, lagging ku masih msani.

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Office Life

I woke up late today around 745, thank God its Friday and the fact that the lady boss not coming to the office today. But I have to clear-up her office as she's not coming to the office today and tomorrow.

New fever hit the office for the last two days, the MEC game and the fever also hits me. It sort of like a detective game where you search listed item in a picture and it will leads you to clues for the suspect. Ingau jua ati ku sal tkut ku kdapatan, mna nda mun sudah bmain a2, 2-3 org bah bkumpul mngadap sbuting komputer, heran jua org tu pebaik tah kn jdi pekerja contoh...kwang kwang kwang.

Ok, next is Guy issue. Its regarding the 'May Flavor' guy (I tell the story behind the month flavor theory next time) I was over him already, after all we're in the mid of June. Skalinya tdi ngam aku filling in rah receptionist post for a short while and i saw him arriving to the office. And someone was with him in the car - a female! She was tall, slim and have a great hair, seriously! It will be the type of hair i want. The only setback was, she's frowning. Sayang, muka lawa tpi marung. Tapi sungguh tah ia marung atu, msih lagi ia nampak gorgeous. Kmi (3 of us) yg rah receptionist table ani, apalgi, mbuat theory msing2 lah. Ofcourse its a unanimous decision, we all think she's his gf. Once ia msuk sja inside the buliding, trus lah kmi mnembak...

Lady A: baik..., kna antar kraja (sambil senyum2 kambing)
Me: awu eh (sambil angkat2 kening)
Lady B: Your girlfriend kah A***?
The Guy: No lah, it's my sister
All 3 of us: iakan?....
The guy: Yeesss, its my sister, don't believe me ask lah ia...

But the kicker is, before ia naik tangga smpat ia mnoleh at our direction and he was looking straight at me. Palau, mcm kambuh smula pnyakit ku rah nya...kekeke

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Mr Moon

My friends call it Mr.Moon in her blog, so I'm going to use the same term. I have been experiencing stomach cramps on and off since Sunday but it finally happened earlier today. And now I'm suffering as the pain become more intense....urghh, i never particularly like when Mr Moon accompanied by cramps but what to do, fitrah perempuan. But i envy those yg nda pyah rsa sakit every time its their turn of Mr Moon.

I really hope that it won't be as bad for me tomorrow evening because the company where i work will be having a thanks-giving ceremony and I HAVE to come because I'm assisting in handling the catering/refreshment area. Sigh...I didn't know that this will be part of my job when I sign the contract. At least bagilah overtime pay...kekeke.

Peace & Save da World; xoxo

Boring day

I was totally bored today at work. I didn't do much work, just updates few people's leave application forms and that's it. Am not sure why i was in such a down mood maybe its because of the matchmaking business issue. I kind of promise the match-maker that I'll give my answer regarding giving my email today. However, am not sure what to do, to give or not. In the end, it causes me to be awkward around the match-maker. This whole situation stresses me out when it shouldn't. This is why I have personal rules about dating/relationship:

1. Don't date your friends
2. Don't date your relatives
3. Don't date your friends' relatives or your relatives' friends

If one of these rules broken, it can resulted in a disastrous situation. Exhibit A, just what happened today. Ugh...i explained already and they don't listen. Now what to do?

Peace & save da world; xoxo

Ambu & Mr Thorn

Power to the people...!

Owk, i dont know whay i just say that but it feels the thing to say a moment ago. Earlier today, i went to Seri Balai with my mom, little sister n brother to eat 'ambu'. After that we went to Metro, mblikan my Little brother kain cara melayu and then went to Hua Ho Tj Bunut sal kan bli bahan utk resipi casserole yg ku dpt tdi pagi. + ku kn bli Mr Thorn.

Tpi dsebabkn terlalu cbuk mcri bahan casserole, i forgot all about Mr Thorn...hmm-huh. MSa ku dketa sudah n stat enjin bru ku ingat. So blusir lah ku (not realy) sma my sis, naik smula k atas utk mbli Mr. Thorn.

Alhamdulillah, smpai hajat ku kn blanja my family mcungkil n my craving for Mr.Thorn. Plus ku kna blanja kain tdi by my mom, woohoo...but that also means another head-ache, fashion cna lg kn ku buat utk kain bru ani... Simple sja kli eh, budget ani bah tpaksa dfkirkn.

Raya nda lg lama, motong bju th peeps.


Peace & Save da world; xoxo

Latest news... someone trying to play match-making.

This will be my 3rd post for 2day, sklinya ku aktif...ada2 sja bah ceta ah. Well its about sum1 that i just finish chatin wit n its regarding a guy dat seems ntrsted wit me. I dun mind abt dat issue plang but yg mbagi paning nya da match-maker ani bah promosi blebihan. Ku plang yg jadi nda tantu rsa. Ia promosi atu mcm confirm bah aku kn tpkai rah laki2 atu n live hapily ever after. Seriously, ia ckap about takdir, jodoh, n yg sewaktu dgn nya.

Owk lah, i can understand da gud intention, but nda usah lebih meh... Mau mental ku chat sma ia. Makin ia promote makin ku convince dat m gonna rejek da guy. Baru jua kn minta email, tsk tsk tsk...

Sedikit nasihat utk smua match-maker dluar sna, JGN OVER!!!

Peace & Save da world; xoxo

Mr Thorn

Sejak dua menjak ku mbca blog Teddy Kuma about Mr Thorn, ku plang yang tesliur nah... Palau eh, ada org dmam drumah bah, kcian jua mun ia nda dpt mkn.

Oh, btw, mayb m abit 2 harsh on my previous blog but still da fact remains dat m not a satisfied-customer...

Aint all dat

Dear Blog, its been 3 months since my last confession.... Wait a minute, knapa lain bunyi nya ani, mcm jumpa paderi tah gnya...kwang kwang kwang.

Nway, lots been hapening in my lyf; job, boss, guys, money, guys....hehehe. Tdi i went to this particular place that famous for it's 'grill' food and guess what?...it aint that gra8! uh-huh...da service was a bit slow, and level of treatment was not that friendly. maybe because i went there with my younger sister n she was wearing school uniform and as for me, i look 'young'. maybe they think we cant afford to eat there hence the blah~ treatment. Gerigitan jua ku tdi atu pakal gnya kmi lapar, bek plang ku mkn rah KFC sbalah nya atu.. N da food was not that gr8 either, seriusly, i tink i prefer mkn rah ceri d delima. Mahal sja mbyar tdi a2. Note to self: mun tesliur kn mkn bsar, go RBC.

Iatah disebabkn perasaan yg nda puas ati atu tah ku stat mblog ari ani. Job-wise, things r ok, ada lah ku kna mrahi dh skali...arghhh.....sdih kli ku ah. Guy issue...hmm....next tym tah ku ceta. Financial situation, ok lah but my car minta pampered this month...sigh

Smpai dcni sja dlu...till nxt tym


Peace n save da world; xoxo

My new life

I just started a new job. The hardest part is not learning how to do things but how to fit-in. Although the job is difficult as well especially when I’m not an extrovert person and I’m a bit of paranoid type. I think too much of what other people might think of me. It’s my greatest setback. Hence, I find it hard to mingle with everyone at work. Anyway, there is this particular guy that I like working there. And there might be a possibility that he ‘fancy’ me as well (we’re not talking about love here though) He is 2 years my junior but thanks to my appearance I look younger than my actual age. Since he doesn’t know about it that’s why he seem to be interested with me. But would he still consider getting to know me more if he finds out that I’m older? Not everyone in this world can be an “Ashton Kutcher”. P/s: He’s tall. Well, actually I’M short. So imagine when I stand with him, it’s like Eva Longoria with Tony Parker.

Fidelity

The definition of fidelity seems to get blur along the line. Some who practice it says it is ok as long as you treat your partner the same way as before the affair. As someone who believes strongly in a monogamous relationship, I try to be open-minded with this issue. It is because you believe to be immune from this virus and it would never happen to you. So I guess as long as it doesn’t affect me then I’m ok with it. However, fate is something that you can’t predict. No matter how hard you try to live your live following the lines of rules, it doesn’t mean that you are excluded.


When you suspect that the infidelity issue happens in your own backyard, only then you started to hate the notion why some people unable to stay faithful. Why is it not enough? Why do we fell compelled to do it just because nowadays society seems to be doing it? Why are we willing to make our partner suffers.



Granted, that I am single, free from all the issues that come with a relationship. But it makes me wonder, why bother? Is it a necessity to be involved with someone knowing that you're going to get hurt. Of course there the saying that says, better to be loved than never known love. Still it makes me wary about getting involved. Maybe that is why I’m still dragging my feet when it comes to the topic of finding someone. Even when I’m hit with desperation still I’m unable to accept just about anyone who is nice enough to me and wants to be with me because I don’t want to settle with just anyone. For the reason that I’m afraid that I might be the one who’s going to be infidel.

Uncertainty

I don’t know of what to think. I try to understand what my true feelings are but failed. Few weeks ago I thought that I give up on trying finding a partner and yet few days ago I was speculating on my chances on a particular guy. Yesterday I revealed to a friend that I feel like a failure. I have no personal life, no career prospect and it seems that I’m losing faith. A dangerous thing it is about faith, I don’t want to mess up the general order of life by tempting faith but it seems that I’m unable to shake the feeling out of me. Maybe my hormones are running amok because it’s almost time for that particular period in each month. Today I feel lousy. I’m tired, not physically, mentally. When would it be I’m going to see that silver lining that everyone’s talking about? At this moment I feel so lost already in this cloud of darkness of uncertainty. The bottom line is that ‘I am scared’. My future seems so vague and gloom and I don’t know what to do except wait.